Online shmoping

No, it's not a typo friends. Let's talk addiction.

Addiction in my family goes way back. And to be quite honest, I'm not sure it's a bad thing. Most folks in my family are addicted to good things: work, working out... okay, basically just those two things. My dad works a lot and my mom is super fit. Perhaps those two things go hand-in-hand. My dad is rich and my mom is hot. Dad talks about my mom's butt really openly in the office and it's weird. Sorry mom, you didn't know that until just now, but it's pretty strange. You should talk to him about it... Glad you're all in love 'n stuff though. Git it.

ANYWAY... bigger issue in MY life (again, sorry for calling out your cute butt, mom, on the world-wide-web) would have to be the fact that both of my grandmas have shopping addictions.

Yep. One grandma is a garage-sale addict. She goes "Garagesaling". VERB. It's a VERB. And no, you aren't taking your sailboat to and from garages. Yea, you ARE spending every Thursday and Friday carrying around your pockets full of quarters to all of the neighbors' houses to buy their SHIT that they've decided that they don't need, but perhaps can convince other people they may need.

I love my Garage-saling grandma. She is way nicer than the other grandma. But she also has Levi jeans in every size from infant to size 68. Literally, there are towns in northern Nebraska that are outfitted in Levis from my grandma's quarters. The woman had to start her own little business to a) fund her Garagesaling addiction and b) get rid of all of the SHIT that she bought and will NEVER need. I haven't convinced my other family members to call TLC Hoarders to check out Nice Grandma's basement, but I'm not afraid to at some point. Size 68? Really? Luckily I've already been on TLC, or I'd totally call them... but that's for another post perhaps (if you want to find it, it's season 5, episode 19 "Amy's Outreach" of "Little People, Big World" I made them take it off the air because I wasn't being paid my loyalties. Bitches.)

My other grandma, the meaner, sassier, Fox News-watching, Cadillac driving version of my mother, did not have a Garagesaling addiction. No no no no. She has a Nordstrom addiction. When everyone else in my life told me shopping was a stupid waste of time and money, mean Grandma was meanwhile buying me my first thong and fur vest. Seriously. I blame my credit-card-on-file-online account on Nordstrom.com on mean Grandma. And I'm honestly not even mad. Despite the fact that she took me out of her will because I was living in sin with my NOW husband, then boyfriend, I still think she is great because she taught me that you can buy 1) glitter 2) fancy makeup 3) black and white outfits 4) thongs and if they make you feel better, it's money well spent. And, she taught me that fitting in is more important than being comfortable, so I grew up having NO friends that I actually liked. Oh well. At least I look classy. Fashion hurts. Beauty hurts worse. But somewhere in the end you benefit. Not sure how.

So back to the $28 candle....