Eastside living part 1 (because I love writing series. Makes the creative process easier)

So I post a bunch of really awesome photos. Ok. My photo skills suck, but they are inherently better because one can't take a bad photo of Carson Peak. It's just not possible (photo below is indeed not Carson Peak).

However beautiful June Lake scenery tends to be, there are certain things that I don't take photos of because, well, that would be shocking to most. Other than the mountain views, this place takes some getting used to. There are elements that are unrefined. Yet to be refined. Lacking in refinement. My prim and proper mean grandma's worst nightmare, in other words.

"Wow, Jess. You live there. Give the place a break. It can't be that bad," you say.

Hum. Let's explore the one and only Tiger Bar.

Note: There are other bars in June Lake. But nobody frequents them. Most folks can walk to "el Tigre" which makes excessive drinking possible and, though not important for many Loopers, more responsible.

Plus, the drinks are stronger.

You walk into the Tiger, and most likely you will be sort of greeted by someone maybe if they happen to notice you. I would recommend just finding a place at the bar on a busier night.

Terry, the grumpy vet behind the bar with the second largest porn collection in the Eastern Sierra (he knows the guy with the biggest), will undoubtedly give you a hard time about your drink, no matter what you're ordering, especially if you're a blonde girl. Don't let it get to you. He's actually a really great guy, who promised to pay for all of his grandchildren's college tuition, which is why he is still working every night. Otherwise, the man would be sitting at home with his porn collection wife. Instead, he is stuck slinging drinks to you punks so his grandkids don't make great grandkids and instead go to college.

There will be exactly two to eight locals sitting at the bar, all semi-ignoring each other until non-locals walk in, in which case they will band together to ignore the out-of-towners, because socializing sucks. Especially here. Why would you want to meet someone new? You moved here to be surrounded by nature, fresh air, heavy machinery, cigarette smoke, beer cans, and your big screen tv. Don't expect to have anything resembling a conversation with a local, because all you will get is a invitation to step outside and get your ass kicked.

Funny thing is, we are all in the hospitality business. That's right. "We" hate visitors on our turf but can't live without them. The Tiger Bar is the best illustration of this. It's family friendly (because baby carriers fit well in the booths or on the bar itself), but nobody is going to quit dropping the "f" bomb just because you decided to bring your 5-year-old into our bar.

Wow. Why would anyone even go to this god-forsaken place? Well, it's not for the burgers, I can tell you that. I can't decisively say that I've had food poisoning from El Tigre, because I usually drink way too much to discount my vomiting on the food instead of the beer spiked with Tabasco and whipped cream (this actually happened once), but yea, the burgers aren't why we come here.

You should go to the Tiger Bar because it's never boring. It's also never friendly, but entertainment can't always be friendly. It's rough living on the eastside of the Sierra, and we aren't going to fake it. Well, I fake it all of the time. I even wore heels to work today. But most people, they ain't gonna fake it. They are just going to drink 17 1/2 Coors Originals, smoke a pack of cigarettes, play a few games of pool, pass out drunk (hopefully in their own bed), go to work the next day hung over, and then go straight to the bar after work to kill the hangover and talk about how bad working hung over is. Repeat x20.

When I write home about how I miss my poetry group in Boulder, now you know why.

XOXO.