Things I learned in the City

• It does rain there. And it's rather cold.
• With the advent of smartphones, people now have NO reason to talk, look, walk near you, or acknowledge your existence.
• If I brought my laptop on the BART, maybe I could write while I thought about the half dozen people falling asleep who clearly have nothing of value on their person, the man with the tie featuring photos of baseballs, the biker trying to fit his road bike and the bike trailer through the doors before they close, and the 17 year old girl who thinks acrylic nails are cool.
• Dating websites are probably a must. If people can't make eye contact anymore, how can they date? 
• Hipsters live on. So do the homeless. Only difference? MacBook Pros.
• On that note, Portlandia is real. And it's not just in Portland, OR. 
• There exists essentially no difference between hand cream and foot cream.
• I saw a woman hock a loogie and nearly miss the public trash can. I didn't learn much from that. Except to forget carefully wrapping my gum in paper before tossing it.
• Asians take photos of everything. More than fashion bloggers.
• Cabbage is an acceptable garden plant. Very sustainable, no doubt.
• The need for vehicles remains rare, thanks to public transportation. Just don't try singing Whitney Houston out loud like you're in a car, when you're not. Unless you have an attractive black percussionist banging away on a 5-gallon bucket next to you.
• My best writing occurs in my head. As does my best conversations. That's where my best friends live.
• But really, I love writing, it's just that when I sit down to write, nothing comes out except filthy, filthy sarcasm.
• Nike high-tops are in for women. Fashionable women. Uggs, I understand. Toms, alright. But gold Nike high-tops? Puuulease. 

• There are few places downtown to sit by yourself and contemplate life without looking crazy.
• Baby strollers are a good idea, even if you don't have a baby to put in them.
• You can visit San Francisco and never see the ocean.
• Shopping in really "cool" stores only makes you feel bad about yourself.

Forever 21. Floor 1 of 4. Gives new meaning
to "FOREVER."

• Frozen yogurt is still trendy, THANK GOD.
• Starbucks, is not.
• Farmers markets still manage to smell like hippies, even over the lovely produce that they ... produce.
• One could walk around aimlessly for hours and not go more than 5 blocks.
• The best feeling in the world remains going home.